Hello, I am a slug, and I’m crawling out tonight,
Leaving a trail of slime, because I’m going to unite
With the headlouse, the woodlouse, the weevil and the rat,
And also join up with several other species that
Are anti-charismatic, in the public eye,
But this is an injustice which we seek to rectify.
None of us look striking posing on mountainsides,
Migrating across savannahs, or singing in the sky,
We don’t dive or leap majestically out of the ocean
Fine artists don’t paint us to symbolise emotions,
Or patriotism, freedom and other noble notions.
We don’t roam in rainforests or on tundras,
We were stowaways on the ark
And where we live is called infested
Never made a national park
No one will cross the world to see us
But to hear a gorilla fart
They’ll fly all the way to Africa in a polluting jet plane
The gorilla farts, they gasp in glee
And then fly back again.
We won’t sell you anything
With cute faces or appealing eyes
The means of our own deaths are what we advertise
Since a picture of a cockroach sells tons of insecticide.
We are vermin, pests, pariahs, carrion eating parasites
But when it all ends, we’ll cut you down to size,
Because the corpse of one lion will feed a thousand flies