Because I am an owl.

Do not rub your wet body on me,

For I am not your towel;

I hang around at night and hoot in trees,

Because I am an owl.

Don’t do your carpentry with me.

As though I was a wooden peg

I see things that you do not,

And I am not a dowel;

I hang around at night and hoot in trees,

Because I am an owl.

I’m no kind of gardening implement

And I dream all day of eating mice

Which a trowel just cannot do,

Then I fly in the dark on silent wings

And occasionally hoot.

Furthermore, I’m not a sound made by a wolf or by a coyote

If you think I am, then you must have been

Consuming too much peyote

I am certainly not a howl

I hang around at night and hoot in trees,

Because I am an owl.

And I symbolise great wisdom

In my few spare moments

And fly away to sleep all day,

When the night is over.

I never make angry doggy noises

Since I am not a growl,

I hang around at night and hoot in trees,

Because I am an owl.