Hello, I am
a slug, and I’m crawling out tonight,
Leaving a
trail of slime, because I’m going to unite
With the
headlouse, the woodlouse, the weevil and the rat,
And also
join up with several other species that
Are anti-charismatic,
in the public eye,
But this is
an injustice which we seek to rectify.
None of us look
striking posing on mountainsides,
Migrating across
savannahs, or singing in the sky,
We don’t
dive or leap majestically out of the ocean
Fine artists
don’t paint us to symbolise emotions,
Or patriotism,
freedom and other noble notions.
We don’t
roam in rainforests or on tundras,
We were
stowaways on the ark
And where we
live is called infested
Never made a
national park
No one will cross
the world to see us
But to hear
a gorilla fart
They’ll fly
all the way to Africa in a polluting jet plane
The gorilla
farts, they gasp in glee
And then fly
back again.
We won’t
sell you anything
With cute
faces or appealing eyes
The means of
our own deaths are what we advertise
Since a picture
of a cockroach sells tons of insecticide.
We are
vermin, pests, pariahs, carrion eating parasites
But when it all ends, we’ll cut you down to
size,
Because the
corpse of one lion will feed a thousand flies
