THE JOYS OF OFFICE EQUIPMENT

FILING CABINET

I am a filing cabinet,

I have four drawers

And I am not an ocelot

So I do not have padded paws

Or sharp, sharp claws

Or a beautiful spotted coat

So I don’t

Go out hunting across jungle floors

I just sit here

Rectangular and metallic,

Storing, storing, storing

It might seem boring to you

But it’s all I do, because

I am a filing cabinet,

HOLE PUNCH

If I was a hole punch,

I’d never be out to lunch

I’d be so legless that

I couldn’t go to the cafė

All I’d eat is little paper circles,

No paninni, no salad, no baguettes

No cappucinno, no lattė for me,

Not even a short shot of espresso

Unless some silly office worker,

Spills it on me.

So I’d be underfed and caffeine free

And I’d subsist 

Very quietly,
On little paper circles,

Only making a creaking sound,

When I got pressed down

Otherwise,

I’d just sit there.

STAPLER

I am a capable stapler

Very capable and cabapler than

A pin or a paper clip

Of fixing sheets of paper together

Not forever

But for just long enough

Because that is what

I am capable of.