I hate hoovering

 I hate hoovering,

Vacuuming is vile,

And mechanised suction sucks.

Most of the time,

I’m surrounded by detritus

And I don’t give a tuppeny fuck.

But once in a while,

Usually in springtime,

I catch the cleaning disease.

I notice the dust

And scraps around my feet

then I feel a pang of unease.

So, I apply a flexible hose,

Which ingests my nasty leavings

But attempted domestication

Is a deafening bore,

So I sit back down after,

To drop more rubbish on my floor.