A SADISTIC SALAD RECIPE
I love torturing vegetables
I treat them worse than the KGB, the Gestapo,
Special Branch or the CIA.
I imprison them in a dark cold fridge,
Then I roust them out brutally,
Screaming things like
“Where are you?
You can’t hide at the back of the shelf,
Come out, you mangey tout!”
Some I seize, and throw immediately,
Into boiling water whole.
Some I slice with sharp blades,
Then hurl them into an oily bowl.
Some I skin, and some I scrape,
Some I even eat raw,
But none escape my greedy teeth
And my ever-chomping maw
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