feeble consumer resistance

Sainsburys, oh Sainsburys,

Great grocer of Great Britain,

You sell me many things I need,

Such as paper to wipe my shit on.

You sell me carrots, you sell me soap,

And toothpaste, wine and fish;

And I could add item after item,

to this mundane list.

I’m not unusual, I am sure,

Some may buy less, some may buy more,

And when I read the words on your packaging, I doubt if I’m alone.

But recently that’s what I did,

whilst sitting on my porcelain throne.

“we’re sure you’ll love this product”,

Were the words that were inscribed,

on the unnecessary plastic wrapping

With my toilet paper inside

Now I love my relatives,

And I love my friends,

I love hearing swifts screaming in the sky,

I love watching poplars sway in the wind

And bright pebbles that please my eye.

It’s for me to decide

When told by my heart

Where I will direct my emotions

And I will not feel what I’m told to feel,

By a large and powerful grocer.

So Sainsburys, I’ll buy your produce

But I will not sell you my soul.,

And I’ll wipe my arse on your arsewipe,

But I’ll never love your toilet roll.