The sight of an obese older man
With a hoodie on
Can cause raised eyebrows at least
Or even derision
Fashion fascists would pigeonhole the old
Carpet slippers and cardies are prescribed
We’d be getting them on the NHS
If it wasn’t being privatised.
Hoodies are for disaffected youths
Who shake crash barriers and shout slogans
Or for historical re-enactors
Who want to live in the middle ages
But medieval squalor could be all our fate
When they take apart the welfare state
So with hoodies on, we’ll barrage the police
With walking sticks, zimmer frames and false teeth.