Sunday, March 03, 2013


Have you heard about the SEX CLAIMS! SEX CLAIMS!
They’re spinning them again,
Sending priests and politicians
Swirling down the drain.

There was a peer who liked peering,
Let’s call him Lord Groper
Often put his hand up
And not just to speak
But liberal ladies weren’t all so liberal
When they were tired of his groping
They all told their tales
And it all got leaked
It was denied, redacted
Admitted and retracted
Then the Party said that it might always have known
So Groper was thrown out,
They withdrew the whip
And his cover was blown
And sadly now Lord Groper has to
Carry on Groping, all on his own.

There was father O’Feely
A priest of deep feelings
Both inside and outside
The priestly robe
He tried to suppress it
But did keep expressing it
So the papacy moved him all over the globe
They sent him to Barbados, then to Mauritius
And when people there got suspicious
They sent him to Stoke
And the papal bureaucracy really believed in miracles
One day when Feely was stroking
He dropped dead of a stroke

We like reading bout the SEX CLAIMS! SEX CLAIMS!
Like to see them on the telly 
Or the internet screen
When some self important ratbag
Gets caught with their pants down
We think it’s a giggle, we think it’s a scream
And when we run out of
Celebs and their SEX CLAIMS!
We sit around making
SEX CLAIMS of our own
He did that to her and she did that to them
We take it in turns
We’re just a load of monkeys
Talking bout our SEX CLAIMS
Whilst the planet we’re on
Is starting to burn.

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