Tadpoles by post

 The postman rings the doorbell,

Then bangs on the door.

The resident opens an upstairs window.

“I’ll be down to get it”

He shouts, then he struggles

To descend fifteen stairs,

Gripping the banister tight,

Balancing with his walking stick

And placing each foot carefully.

This isn’t fast enough for the postman,

Who bangs on the front door again.

‘Wait!’ The resident says

Before he opens his portal to get

A parcel labelled ‘LIVE ANIMALS’.

Now he must act fast

Before the contents give up the ghost,

For he has just received

Tadpoles by post.

Squawking at each other

Podcasts and Podcasters

Piffle, prattle and rattle

On and on and on

Like dried out peas and beans

Bouncing around inside a tin can

Arguing, hair splitting, nitpicking

Again, and again.

After a short while,

Every topic seems the same.

Although I know

I should value freedom of speech

And this cacophony

Is better than the monotony

Of the authoritarian pompous guff

Which was always pronounced

By someone named Reginald

Broadcast only at the correct times from

The varnished wireless cabinet

In the sitting room.

Now we get a multi-faceted

Continual multi-opiniated mess

Of clanging egotistical gobshite

Noisy Parrots in a cage

Squawking at each other

Whilst the zookeeper

Goes about his business.

INDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECTS

Sit still as statue

In the doorway.

Only eyes move

To observe

The sky above the street.

Cars, vans and

Hyper exploited moped riding

Food bringers

All pass remarked

But unexamined.

Ignore tarmac

And all that rolls there,

Only care

About feathers slicing air.

Notice the different ways

That they beat and glide

Notice, examine and classify

Herring gull, feral pigeon, wood pigeon,

Magpie, ring necked parakeet, crow

Sparrow, goldfinch, blue tit, starling

Maybe even a kestrel, a buzzard

Or a red kite.

Look again to check

Wing shape and flight pattern.

Sit and watch and wait

Until one day spring ends

With a mad high-pitched scream

And a bird that flies like nothing else

Because it always

Flies and nothing else

Swifts.